This thing called life

It’s true what people say–one day you’re living your life and doing fine and the next…well the next day, the next moment, can be life changing.

Let’s talk about writing first. What are you working on now? Are you excited about it? Are you working on more than one project? I have two fiction manuscripts I want to revise and I’m currently working on my memoir. It’s been too long since I’ve picked up a journal and bled my feelings out into a poem. And maybe that’s what I need to do because that moment I was talking about happened not too long ago for me.

I’m not going to bore you with details, but I will say that I’m facing a serious health issue. It’s an issue that can completely change my life. It’s an issue that has and will continue to challenge me and I wonder how I will change during the process. I wonder how my writing will change. Because isn’t it true that writers change throughout their lives depending on how they change as individuals? We’re never the same every year even if some people claim they never change. Change is definite for everyone, not just writers.

In the past two months, I’ve already changed. I’ve had to face pain and fear and an unknown future. I have to face that maybe my life will not be as long as I always thought. It’s no surprise to anyone that life is fleeting and we never know how much time we have to walk this earth. And although it’s easy to think and to say we should do all the things we want and never procrastinate, we always do. Even the accomplished, persistent people screw up sometimes. We miss opportunities. We make dumb mistakes. We hurt others and ourselves. We don’t go for it when we should. We don’t love enough or do enough.

Have I considered all this lately? Yes and more. And it’s why I’m sitting here writing this today. I want to remember how I felt at this time regardless of what happens in the near future. I want to express myself at this exact time in my life–just a couple weeks past my fiftieth birthday.

I always go back to writing. It doesn’t matter what is happening in my life. I’ve used the written word for an escape, therapy and sheer pleasure. I wrote my way through poems, short stories, novels, children’s literature and journals. So many journals that I’m grateful to have today, especially now that I’m into my memoir. Writing gets me through. It’s a God-given gift that I’ve always been grateful for.

So, after this article, I might pick up a journal and write some dark poetry about my fear of the physical pain and procedures I’ll need to endure. Fear of not having more time to become the person I want to be. Fear of never finishing my memoir or publishing those two fiction manuscripts. And I would miss doing all that. I would miss writing on this blog, miss reaching out to people with my words, my thoughts and feelings. I would miss so much more that I don’t need to point out because we all would miss our people, our soulmates, and our individual, wonderful lives that make us who we are. Our contributions to this terrible, crazy, beautiful world.

That’s it for today, for this week. I wish you all wonderful writing and reading. I wish you less procrastination and more action. More living. And I will see you here next time, maybe with some new poems in my journal or more random thoughts about writing memoir or fiction or something else. Who knows what will happen next, and that’s just a part of this thing called life.