So here’s the thing. We all have problems. We all have health issues. And the older we get, the more we have. That’s life. I don’t hate life because of it. I don’t hate my body for its problems and I don’t hate myself for not taking better care of my body and mind in my younger years. I could write a book about mistakes and lessons learned and vows for the future. I suspect we all could.
If you’ve read my blog this year, you know I turned fifty in June. My body let me know back in February that something was wrong. And last year was my first big health issue when I discovered I have binocular vision dysfunction. So what’s been happening to me, to my body, the last couple of years?
For several years I foolishly lived life without health insurance and seldom visited the doctor. I was strong and healthy and believed I probably always would be. Why wouldn’t I? Are all young people this way? Young and dumb? I can only speak for myself.
But I’m not going to get into all that right now. I’ve been struggling to write about what happened to me this year. The severe chronic pain, the bottles of Advil just to survive the days, the doctors, the tests, the mysterious and scary results. The unknown. The surgery. The recovery. The physical and psychological pain afterwards. And still it goes on. I’m so much better than I was, but I’m not healed. Some days I wonder if healing is in my future. I’m forever changed and it’s something that’s hard to describe. People ask how I am and if I’m doing better and what do I say? They want you to say positive stuff like, “Yes! I’m good, thanks for asking!” People don’t want you to tell them the truth because the truth is complicated.
I want to write about my pain, my three surgeries in one, and how it all affected me. How it continues to affect me. For now, I just want to put it out there for whoever is reading–please make educated choices about your nutrition and health. Your age doesn’t matter. Find good doctors and don’t settle for anything less than you want, than you deserve. If you feel something is wrong with your body in any way, don’t allow a doctor to tell you otherwise. Fight for yourself and your health. It all starts with you and the everyday choices you make.
See you in my next post.
The Second Chance Writer 