On September 9, I wrote this tweet: So I’m getting ready to hit the publish button on my second novella. And I’m frozen. What is wrong with me?
I received a lot of reaction from this simple and honest tweet. Writer friends understood and offered support and encouragement. Some told me it was a natural feeling and to go for it anyway. Face my fear. Own and love the story I worked so hard on.
I do love my stories. They are an extension of me, and I am proud of them. But I am also scared of releasing them into the world for people to judge them. What if they don’t get my writing? What if they think it’s foolish, amateurish or not worth their time? What if they hate my characters or think my poetry is boring and stupid? I could go on and on. What if, what if…
This novella (Gia) isn’t my first publication. I’ve been through this torture twice before. The first time was definitely the worst. I procrastinated so long that my husband finally made me sit down and feel okay with letting the novella go. Because that’s what it is. Letting go. What’s the point of writing, rewriting, revision and all the work involved with a book, just to set it aside and not allow anyone to enjoy it?
But here’s the thing. Since my work is part of me, I’d have to release myself with my writing. Any writer who’s reading this understands. We are artists and we are part of our creations. But I didn’t write nearly my entire life to just hide my work. I want readers, more now than ever. I want to entertain, inspire and be the reason that someone smiled, laughed or cried.
Will everyone enjoy my stories and poetry? No, and that’s okay. I don’t enjoy every story, novel, poem or article I read. But I still respect the writer for releasing his/her work. I respect their time, their creativity and imagination. That’s why writers are so supportive and encouraging of other writers. We know what it takes. We understand the difficulties of the process, the procrastination, the pain of finally letting go.
I do procrastinate. I’ll never deny that. For more on that, read this. But, I do find a way to face that beast and slay it. Does it come back? Does it get another life? Yes, but I’ll be ready. I get stronger every time I fight and win.
On September 18th, I hit the publish button. And, even though I was freaked out, it felt damn good. I hope and suspect that it will feel even better the next time.
Here’s hoping your writing life is going well. If you ever need some understanding, support or encouragement, don’t hesitate to reach out. It’s only from amazing people in my life, including my kind and talented writing friends, that I’m here and I can call myself an indie author.
If you’re interested in my novellas or my poetry collection, you can find them all here.
And remember–your fans can’t wait to read your work.