A short intro to something bigger

 

embrace

This is strange. I’m sitting here with all kinds of thoughts and feelings running through my mind and body. I’m on overload. I want to talk and write about them all. But I always get ahead of myself and then become confused and frustrated, and eventually I’ll shut down and end up doing nothing.

This is why I haven’t written here for a few weeks. I have things to write, but I don’t know where to begin. If you’re a procrastinator in any way, you know that doing anything else is far more interesting than the one thing you’re supposed to be doing. That’s why in one of my posts, I talked about cleaning the top of the refrigerator instead of hitting the publish button on my book of poetry.

But that’s who I am. However, if you didn’t read that post or any other post since then, you don’t know that I did hit that publish button and my collection of poetry is currently available on Amazon. So I am capable of beating the beasts of procrastination, fear, lack of confidence and everything else that holds me back from doing what I want.

And I am facing all those beasts again. I am so close to getting my second novel ready for publication. So close. But I wonder if it’s good enough? Have I proofread enough? Have I missed anything? The characters aren’t real enough. The story lacks depth. The ending might anger some people. Have I chosen the right cover? Title? What if I get bad reviews? Or worse–no readers which equal no reviews. The list goes on and on.

I’m not here to bore you with my crazy writer’s issues or depress or annoy you with my emotional problems. I’m here to say that I’m working on them–all of them.

I have been working not just on my novel, but on myself. I’ve been educating myself about who I am, why I do the things I do and what I want out of my life.

For now, I’ll tell you that even though I am swimming with new knowledge, insights, observations and questions, I know I will reach the place I am meant to live and fully become the person I know I am.

If you’re an INFJ, an HSP and/or an empath, you’ll understand this post and the ones to come. And if you do, I’d love to hear from you.

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